Rough Patch

The last few days have been rough. I feel SO guilty even saying that because I know what an opportunity it is to be here and how lucky we are that Matt has a job given all the job losses around the world. I know we are very very lucky. I get it. I do.

I am at a point right now where "vacation" is over and I am ready to go back to Amsterdam. I think the kids are too. Kaylin has been telling us that she wants to go home to play with her toys. The weekends are great because we are tourists and can check out all the sites, but during the week I am struggling to find things to do. The park isn't doing it for me anymore! The kids love it, but I am bored to death! My patience is wearing thin which isn't good when you are trying to entertain two small kids all day. I could take the time to figure out the subway, but I don't know where to go and actually understand what I am seeing. I know I am realizing that Matt's work deadline will not be met and we will be coming back here in August for a couple of months and I am not mentally prepared to have to set up a life here. I know I have to "jump" out there and try to get more involved in things. Not 100% sure what those "things" are, but I know they are out there.
I realize that I am going through the stages of culture shock and things will be fine, but I was much much much more prepared moving to Amsterdam. I have a few people here to find support, but I miss the support system I have come to rely on in AMS.

I have two options. The first is to go back to Amsterdam after our trip to the states. If I do that we will only see Matt for 1 week out each month. Not cool.

Or come back here and be with Matt, but not have all of the comforts of home...mostly toys and kids to play with and places I feel comfortable going.

I think we'll be back here. I think I need to pull it together and quick.

We are planning on going to the zoo today, if the weather cooperates. It looks like it will probably be tomorrow and I know I will feel much better after that.